Tribute to my friend, Cary Colaianni

May 3, 2022

As I've entered my sixth decade of life, I realize I have more history looking backward than remaining future. I've lost my mother. My father is healthy as can be expected but is climbing up in years. Hopefully, most of us trade our youth for wisdom. Maybe I have learned something as well.

Living in Hawai'i and among the dominant culture of Asians, I have been increasingly introduced to the philosophy of Buddha. Found a couple quotes that inspire my behavior:

“The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.”

“There has to be evil so that good can prove its purity above it.”

I lost a job three years ago. It was a career-ending termination. While we may gain wisdom with age, most of us also gain a great deal of pain. My years of college and professional basketball, military training, construction work and other physically demanding labor have left my body broken in many places.

My mind and mental abilities remain sharp. I simply need pain medication — particularly to allow me to sleep restfully.

Recent research questions the conventional wisdom about recovering from hard workouts or intense physical activity. As athletes, we were given massive doses of high-concentration ibuprofen. So much that I developed an addiction. It was also common to immerse us in ice baths or cover our sore joints in ice.

With time, we all gain wisdom, and this advice is now seriously questioned.

You might think: Time to take it easy; maybe down some ibuprofen or take an ice bath. After all, that’s the common approach to recovery. But that could jeopardize all your hard work. Research shows, that some popular strategies for recovery can cancel out the benefits of exercise.

Research has now established that chronic use of nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory medicines, or NSAIDS, reduce strength and muscle size after an eight-week resistance training program in young adults.

Review by Brad Schoenfeld, professor in exercise science at Lehman College, concludes, "The study provides compelling evidence that athletes concerned with maximizing muscular adaptations should limit consumption of ibuprofen, keeping both the dose and frequency of usage low."

EIGHT WEEKS !!! ... doctors prescribed heavy doses 3-4 times a day for more than eight years due to my knee pain and inflammation. The result:

Massive Knee Surgery and Repair due to NSAIDS and ibuprofen use

Ibuprofen also tore up my stomach. I am no longer able to take NSAIDS. Doctors next prescribed Vioxx. Made me sick. Killed others. The FDA had to declare an emergency and abruptly pull this medication from the market.

As a result, doctors recommended opioids. Not much wisdom there. I'm an addiction counselor. Opioids are extremely addictive and deadly. Had gained enough wisdom by this time to #JustSayNo.

Without any options, I experimented with medical cannabis. Works well. My pain is effectively managed. I sleep soundly, and am able to remain active, fit and healthy.

Although I medicate only at night before bed, the use of this medication cost me my job at Hawaiian Electric. CEO and corporate president at the time, Constance Hee Lau, was approaching 70 years of age, but had not gained much wisdom in the area of pain medication. She was still a 40-year follower of Ronald Reagan. Her company fired me.

The termination was complicated. Had worked for the company for over six months, received outstanding reviews, and asked my assigned HR Rep Elizabeth "Liz" Dear if my medication would cause any problems. She told me I would be fine. She did not tell me the company prohibited medical cannabis; she did not direct me to anyone else. I thought I would be fine.

I submitted to the drug screen. Two weeks later, HR Director Shana M. Buco directed me to come to work my first day in my new role and fired me just before lunch. This is example of corporate aloha in Hawai'i. No discussion; no option for a second chance or waiver. Simply, "Get the fuck out and don't return." I was a drug abusing criminal to this Asian-dominated management group.

I was devastated. I was suicidal. I had given up all hope. My extended family was angry with me. I had shamed them. My wife had just started a new job. She had assisted me along the way. We both believed my medication was permitted. She collapsed mentally along with me. We were forlorn and crushed.

Cary Colaianni - friend of over 40 years

Unable to find an attorney, I reached out to a close friend from college, Cary Colaianni. He has visited with us a couple years previously as he applied for a job in our area. I had no connections with the group but my wife and I provided as much support as possible. We would have loved to see him relocate to our community.

Cary connected me with an attorney he knew, Eric Krening. Eric practices in the state of Washington, but retains his license in Hawai'i. Excellent candidate; great assist by my life-long friend. I was deeply grateful for Cary's compassion.

Unfortunately, after a couple months of review and $2,500 in costs, Eric told us he was going to pass. Didn't give specifics. Good-bye!

Cary Colaianni - world traveler

Cary jumped in to give a quick review. Tough case he said. Virtually impossible to defeat a corporate giant like Hawaiian Electric he warned. Best to let it go!

Let it go??? What if White Americans had let it go and not stood up against racists in the U.S. southern states to end slavery? What if America and the world had refused to stand up to Hitler and the NAZIs committing genocide against the Jewish people? Why did Cary and I pursue political science over 40 years ago if we planned to just let it go?

Cary told us a story how frustrated he was with his apartment management. They refused to fix a light bulb in the stairway next to his unit. He was afraid to push harder, lest they tell him to move out.

My wife and I laughed. If only Cary knew my history! LOL

Proud of Cary Colaianni - licensed to practice in Oregon

As a political activist and policy specialist, I have taken on Big Tobacco, the alcohol industry, corporate polluters, and a myriad of other policy initiatives. I'm just a small cog in the progressive machine, but we've never let it go. We've changed America for better.

My wife and I smiled as we remembered the first apartment we rented as an engaged couple. Owners didn't do a good job with upkeep. Yard was full of weeds and overgrown.

I met with our landlord and offered a proposal. They stored the lawnmower in a shed on property. "How about letting me be the one to cut the grass?" He appreciated the offer, but had concerns about liability.

I amended my offer. "Will you sell me the lawnmover and allow me to store the machine in your shed?" The landlord laughed. "You are offering to buy this old lawnmover and cut the grass for free?" I said yes!

He liked us and agreed to try the new arrangement. I purchased the lawnmower for $90 and began cutting the grass in our complex that same day.

However, I wasn't satisfied. There were weeds and overgrown grasses all around us. Now that I had a lawnmover, I decided to do ALL the neighboring lawns — seriously! I mowed up our side of the street and then mowed all the lawns coming back on the other side.

These were not big lots; some areas were fenced so I didn't mow those. I mowed all the lawn areas of the rental units on our block. Took about three hours and a couple bucks of gas. How much nicer our block looked.

After a couple months, I had gained a bit of notoriety and celebrity for being the neighborhood lawn guy. My wonderful friend Cary had concerns about a light bulb. Should have called me. I wouldn't have fought with management either. Just would have replaced the burned out bulb or repaired the fixture. I'm an AmeriCAN ... can CAN !!!

Cary Colaianni and I. We grew up in rural country in America

Begged both Cary and Eric to help me. I'm standing before this giant like David vs. Goliath. I have them on the run. Hawaiian Electric has lied, cheated and abused. They messed up terminating me. Broke their own rules. Their only defense is I have no defense.

No luck. My best friend of some 40 years won't engage. Eric won't assist. I have money, time and enthusiasm to change policy in this area. I simply don't have someone with courage to stand with me.

Heart-broken, I wrote to Cary yesterday. He's been ignoring my pleas for help:

Sad day for me. AnnMarie and I talked at length yesterday about this situation. Not sure why you felt you needed to forsake me and our family. As I told Eric when we first connected, you were a friend for whom I would have given my life. She finds men to be strange.

Recently celebrating her 50th birthday, she and college classmates got together a number of times to reflect, honor and rekindle their long-lasting ties and relationships.

Men simply refuse to retain connections with each other. Her college sisters would do anything to support each other.

I contacted me dear friend when I was drowning. I suffered suicidal thoughts and forlorn hopelessness after the brutal dismissal. Pegging someone as a drug criminal is career-ending and deeply humiliating. I needed help!!! I begged for help!!!

Instead you seemed intent on giving legal advice, not knowing all the facts, and relying on misrepresentations by defendants. I stood alone. No idea how to battle in Hawaii’s system. I proved defendants had lied, misrepresented and abused the Rule 11 motion. In fact, I proved everything — but could not convince my friends to lend a hand.

I grabbed some screen shots and pictures of my dear friend.
Good-bye!

I'm not sure what has happened to America. We've become soft. We allow corporations and the powerful to push us around — then whine on social media. Our fellow Americans express hatred for this nation — but won't join in the good fight to evolve our union.

A recent study asked respondents if the nation was attacked, would they remain and fight or seek asylum elsewhere. Some 50% of liberals would flee, while 80% of conservatives would hunker down and defend the nation. Kind of sums it up.

Younger generations have their hands out for services and assistance; few are willing to pay the price. They forget that this nation was formed in blood. Look at what is going on in Ukraine. The privileged flee. Heroes stand and fight.

My good friend of over 40 years, a decent man with a brilliant mind, won't get involved to simply change a light bulb. How can we change America?

FOREVER LOVE YOU BROTHER !!!

Cary Colaianni enjoying the best of America