Honoring the Life of Robert Harold Goold

January 15, 2025

I initially wrote about my parents in a story about Race Relations and the Power of Love. The seeds in this family of love were planted in 1957 when Mary Petrea (Trea) Goold and Robert Harold (Bob) Goold gave birth to their first child and only son, Scott. They added two sisters, Kari and Dianne, to our family over the next few years.

Mary Petrea (Trea) Goold and Robert Harold (Bob) Goold, circa 1956

My parents were born in the early 1930s. We are "boomer" children. The explosion of children after WWII created a generation that changed America and the world like never before. As we now are retiring, we also are caring for our elderly parents.

Had the opportunity to honor the life of my father in November 2024. We celebrated his 91st birthday together over Veterans Day. He's a combat Vet who served heroically in the Korean conflict. The USA dropped more bombs than ever in history. He served on the USS Kearsarge (CV-33), which was one of 24 Essex-class aircraft carriers completed during or shortly after WWII. His job was to assemble bombs and load them on planes.

Scott and Robert Harold (Bob) Goold, November 2024

Caring for our parents has become more complex in our era. Many families are no longer congregated in the same community or region. My father and sisters all live in different areas. Being in the middle of the Pacific presents challenges due to long flights, which are more costly than mainland travel. My father is also three hours later than my time zone. Creates additional challenges when providing care or comfort.

Fortunately, his brother Art lives near him in the Phoenix area — but only part of the year. We are currently seeking a more permanent solution to providing assistance.

Although my father had excellent health through his life, he suffered a harsh bout of flu around 2018. The flu didn't seem to bother him much; light symptoms. Internally however, it destroyed his pancreas and left him diabetic. Cruel disease!

Difficult as we age to balance carbs and blood sugar levels. A recent medical episode left him confused about how best to eat, when to eat and how to properly adjust insulin levels. I offered to care for him here in Hawai'i. Would be a great place.

Tripler VA is one of the best medical facilities in the nation. Vets are honored across the islands. I could cook for him; we could exercise together; and what fun we would have going shopping or on daily adventures. He has friends in Arizona and doesn't want to leave unfortunately.

I asked Art and my sisters to get him professional care; establish a long-term relationship with a nurse or practioner to assist him with nutrition and insulin management.

MY OFFER
Aloha Bob Goold Supporters ~
Want to thank each of you for your love and hard work. Difficult time and I know he appreciate all the kindness and care.

At this time, I seek to improve our communication and coordination of efforts. In particular, he struggles with nutrition and insulin management.

I would like to be the POINT PERSON in this area. Too many cooks in the kitchen, no pun intended, is confusing him. Plan to join him by telephone when he next meets with DRs and nurses. Believe he has some misunderstandings about this treatment plan. If you agree, please do not recommend diet or insulin options. Ask him to contact me.

Now, if one of you instead prefers to accept this role and responsibility, please step up. I’m not doing this for ego or other personal reasons. I have over 30+ years of nutrition training and teaching. I’m well versed in diabetes and treatment for diabetics. I am comfortable and competent guiding him, educating him and providing support. If one of you would like to provide the support, let me know.

On the other hand, there is much he needs. Told me he watched ND v Penn last week ... alone. Must be terribly lonely for him. Breaks my heart to think of this good, great man sitting by himself each night at 91. Offered to bring him to Honolulu. Had an apartment next door. Could have cooked for him, worked out together and gone on daily adventures. He turned down the offer. Wants to stay at CS.

Yesterday he told me he received so many phone calls the other day that he was frustrated. Everyone is asking the same questions ... he’s having to repeat all this with each caller. He becomes impatient and exhausted.

Thus, I suggest you talk about anything but his diet, nutrition, diabetes. Leave that to me. I’m a pretty serious person. You are better with light conversation and fun topics. He needs that interaction.

He would love as many visits as possible. As you know, he’ll pay for us to come to CS. Please visit as your schedule allows. He even talked to me about visiting Honolulu. We’ll work on this trip. May fly to PHX, pick him up and bring him back to ease his travel concerns.

Ultimately, I sense a lot of fear / anxiety. What he needs are BIG HUGS !!! Please give those freely.

Let me know if this request is not acceptable to you. Otherwise, move forward and give him the BEST care we can. I’m impressed by his recovery from the TIA. Seems to be 95% or so back to normal.

I’m making progress with nutritional training. May start a food diary with him in a week or so. Hard to eat properly in a cafeteria setting. We don’t get much information about carbs and calories. Much guesswork!

Thank you for your time and attention to his needs! 🌺

Sadly, my offer didn't last. As I shared with the group, he became angry with me the next day and hung up:

Just got off the phone with him. He hung up on me. He began yelling at me. Asked him to stop. I said, You would not yell at me if I was a hired professional. He calmed for a moment. He said, Well, maybe you are right.

We talked for a few more minutes ... again, he became angry, which led to him hanging up on me.

Thus, I withdraw my offer yesterday. I am not the right person for this role. We need to get a professional. He has the $$$. Mentioned to Art a group called Grannies who are Nannies. There is a similar service at CS.

Maybe select a woman, a professional, and I believe this person will be able to DIRECT him.

Brother Art told me he wouldn't listen to him. Dianne told me she didn't want to be the food police. He doesn't like taking direction from me. Therefore, I want to hire a professional nutritionist; someone who can educate him how to eat properly and safely manage his blood sugar.

Dianne and Marc Ferguson experiment with his health

My father and Brother Art recently re-calibrated his DexCom G7 unit. This blood glucose monitor has a 20% margin of error. Lack of precision isn't helpful when relying on readings with a 91-year-old; especially one who lives alone. Asked them to validate the re-calibration. My father became frustrated and ended the conversation. At this time, I'm not confident in his monitor readings.

I want professional guidance for my father. I make this request to Brother Art and my sisters at this time. Please do not gamble with his life. Let's honor Bob Goold. He's was an excellent husband to his wife, Mary Petrea (Trea). What an outstanding father he was to all of us. It's difficult sometimes for children to direct their parents. Parents are used to directing their children. Let's find a professional who can provide the loving and competent care he needs.

The family now is seeking a competent, qualified professional to provide the care our father needs at this time.

UPDATE 1.18.25: Called me in a panic. Very confused. Talked to Art; talked to Marc. Afraid he's not in safe situation. Wanted to know what to do.DR updated his treatment plan. Did not inform me. Has new instruction that I do not have.

FAILED past three nights
Start Day. 28 units slow acting
5:00p Reading 300?? (unsure) 10 units
8:00p Reading 89. Ate ice cream, cake, more sugar
12:00a Reading 259. Advised him 2 units
12:30a Reading 279-280
2.15a Reading 257. He's tired; in bed. Advised him to sleep

Called and texted Dianne, Marc and Art. Why is he panicked?

Why is he in a panic? Said you got this

SUMMARY EMAILED to Marc, Dianne and Art
He called me in a PANIC last night !!! Reported Art instructed him to take 10 units of insulin; that he dropped rapidly to around 89. Thus, he chugged gobs of sugary/carb products. Now his DexCom was ringing alarm bells, and he reported you told him to do nothing. I called you in emergency to know WHY you were instructing him this way. You hung up on me.

He called me because you and Art were not available. You failed to keep me informed about your actions and reasons. What am I to do for Bob when the three of you are scheming “what is best for Bob” by committee without including me? I am without ego in this matter. If he wants the three of you to assist. Fine with me. If the three of you believe you are best for Bob. Fine with me. Why then is he calling me — and you have left me out of the professional discussion. That’s criminal negligence!

We were looking forward to a fun Saturday evening and YOUR MANAGEMENT of Bob caused a crisis in our family. You either care for him or I will. I can manage him. However, he is getting mixed messages from the three of you. Each time I speak with him, he says he is now confused. As I’ve warned, we cannot have many cooks in this kitchen. This incident supports my position. I have the time. Have the expertise. I’ve simply asked that the three of you allow me to manage his nutrition and insulin administration. The three of you can assist him in all other ways.

He repeatedly told AnnMarie and I that he wanted a tutorial. I spent the evening teaching him. His readings reached about 259+ at 12:00a, and advised 2 units of insulin. He had not tracked accurately what he had eaten, thus I had to be conservative. He remembered eating ice cream, cake and more sugary shit. He peaked around 12:30a at 280+. I remained with him until about 2:15a. He was still too high at 257, but tired and simply wanted to go to sleep.

He reported he woke around 5:00a with a reading about 180. Injected the 28 units. None of you had the professional courtesy to update me about the change from 32 to 28 units or the apparent new treatment plan his DR gave him this week. I had asked to be with him by telephone with the DR. You all denied my request.

About 6:40a, he got ready to eat breakfast. Sunday, no hot food. He had oatmeal, berries and milk. Asked about hard-boiled eggs. He said he forgot and you didn’t remind him. His reading prior to breakfast was 174. He reported that you instructed him NOT to take any insulin. Asked what his DR recommended: 2 units, he said.

It was 8:30a by this time and his level was 257 with DexCom ringing warning alerts. Asked him why YOU advised him NOT to take the recommended 2 units. Asked him why he was not following the treatment plan from his DR. At this point, he wanted to call you to get your reasoning. He disconnected our call.

I’m not sure the reasoning behind the three of your action. In what world is this the BEST CARE for Bob?

Robert Harold (Bob) Goold is a rare and exceptional human being. He stood 6'7 and towered over most people. As a kid however, being so tall wasn't cool ... he was mercilessly teased and bullied. His father wasn't around much ... worked long, hard hours. Bob was raised by a strong mother and kind sisters. He needed a male role model in his life.

He told me he was constantly being challenged to fight — frequently by gangs of boys. Said they would beat him so badly that he would have to crawl under a car to escape their fury.

Out of high school, he joined the military. He preferred the Navy, but initially recruiters told him he was too tall. He slumped around after that time so he could qualify. The Navy was good for him. Strong men were good for him. He respected their leadership and became a leader himself.

I can't count the number of men who thank me for his contribution to their lives. He was a troubled lad. He used his experience to save many troubled young men. He was an outstanding basketball coach, an excellent teacher, a compassionate and skilled Boys Counselor and served as a competent high school principal and administrator. Not many men in America have served our nation with such distinction.

We live in a time when Powerful Men have lost their moral compass. The incoming president is a convicted felon and rapist. He bragged about grabbing women by the pussy. That's 180 degrees from men like my father. He honored and respected women. He fought for girls' sports programming. He dedicated his life to my mother and two sisters.

He was tough on me, but always with love. I frequently quote him when speaking to young people, "Rise and shine," he would say in early mornings. "The world does not owe you a living. Get going!"

Thank you, Robert Harold (Bob) Goold ... you were right about most things. And, yes, the world does not owe any of us a living. I appreciate that you prepared me to be strong in a complex and challenging world. We got your back at this time.

Posted the following remembrance on social media, January 10, 2025
Mary Petrea would have been 90 today. Mrs. Goold raised three exceptional kids, while caring for a husband who worked 12-14 hours per day. As a first grade teacher, she taught a billion kids to read proficiently. Wrote grants to initiate Head Start and feed hungry students in Idaho; then initiated Follow Through a couple years later. Late at night, she pounded on her second-hand sewing machine using cloth remnants to make clothes for her poor students.

She never got her nails done or a mani/pedi. Never bought a fancy coffee. We were too poor. She always kept us fed and our home filled with love. Her only complaint, "I'm tired." Now she rests in aloha 💕

Hau'oli la Hanau 90th, Mom!!!

In Loving Memory to my mother, Mary Petrea Goold.

UPDATE 3.20.15: Friends, fans and family have shared with me how this story Race Relations and the Power of Love touched their hearts passionately. I want to dedicate these joyous memories to my parents, Bob and Trea Goold. My mother is currently in the hospital recovering from a bad fall and I wish her a speedy recovery.

I thank my father for the endless hours he sacrificed to make me the ballplayer I became. His coaching allowed me to earn a scholarship at ISU and eventually be on the floor in this historic game. My mother thanklessly served as our informal team manager. At the same time, she dedicated her life as a first grade teacher helping young children, primarily minority boys and girls at Bonneville elementary school. She taught me compassion, particularly for people not exactly like me.

My father's guidance allowed me to recognize I needed teammates such as Ed Thompson et al to become a better player and be part of a championship team. My mother's leadership developed a sense of empathy in my heart for the needs of others. We had a great team, a phenomenal collection of players and coaches in 1976-77. Had I only recognized Ed Thompson's skills on the court, rather than his isolation and loneliness when practice was over, our collective greatness would never have been revealed.

Essentially, this is the yin and yang of life; the balance between skills and love that all of us must seek. I hope this lesson transcends this fantastic and historic game. Together, whether a couple, family or nation, we are strong together and weak when divided. Live love and aloha always. Mahalo Ke Akua

UPDATE 3.22.15: Doctors notified us today the condition of my mother, Mary Petrea Goold, has turned critical and she is not expected to recover. She suffers much pain and has requested to be removed from life support. This is consistent with the courage demonstrated by her mother, my grandmother, Wilma. Both told us they refuse to be a burden on family or society as their light of life slowly dims toward the ultimate passing we all must face.

Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. She dedicated her life to giving others less fortunate and in need a better life. She touched so many hearts and minds, while bringing joy and hope to countless. I love you eternally, mom!

I am blessed to have been raised by such a loving, unselfish and compassionate mother and friend. The story I wrote above about my historic experience in sport focused on the Power of Love. Both my mother and father devoted their lives to ensuring their children never lacked for love. Our family struggled frequently to make ends meet, as millions of lower middle class families do. Yet there wasn't a single day, not ever for a minute, that we lacked love. All who knew my mother testify that her commitment to love extended far beyond her immediate family and to all she encountered in this brief moment we call life.

Left: Scott and Trea, 1998, at Scott's marriage ceremony

In Memory: January 10, 1935 — March 23, 2015. I thank all of you for your gracious thoughts, wishes and prayers. My mother began her eternal journey early this morning, 3:15am MDT, surrounded by her loving family. Her passing was peaceful and relieved her of this worldly pain. Her legacy is continued by her husband, Robert (Bob) Harold Goold; children: Scott, Kari and Dianne; four grandchildren: Brittany, Ashleigh, Jenny and Andy; and two great grandchildren: Cadence and Cohen.